Hayden Panettiere Opens Up: Why Telling Her Abuse Story Took Brutal Honesty

Sometimes the hardest part of healing isn’t the pain itself—it’s deciding to let others see it. For actress Hayden Panettiere, that reckoning arrived with the pages of This Is Me: A Reckoning, her forthcoming memoir hitting shelves on Tuesday, May 19.

Over the past week, the 36-year-old has been flooded with messages from readers and supporters responding to her candid disclosures about her childhood in the spotlight, her sexuality, postpartum struggles, and an abusive relationship that she’d spent years keeping private. The outpouring has moved her deeply. I am moved beyond words by the amount of support and encouragement I’ve received from all of you — it truly means more than you know, she posted on Instagram Thursday, May 14. To those you have written to me sharing your own journeys with similar struggles, I see you.

What makes Panettiere’s decision to write this memoir remarkable isn’t just that she chose to go public—it’s that she committed to what she calls brutal, painfully honest recounting. In an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, she explained that the prospect terrified her. She had to wrestle with whether she was ready to relive traumatic moments, the abuse she went through at the hands of people that were supposed to be there to protect me, and admit to actions she’d taken. Once she committed, there was no middle ground. If I was going to do this, I wanted to be brutally, painfully honest, she told the outlet.

That honesty extends specifically to her past relationship with Brian Hickerson. The former couple dated starting in 2018, but their relationship became marked by domestic violence. Hickerson faced arrests in both 2019 and 2020 following alleged incidents with Panettiere. Following his second arrest, he served 33 days in prison, was placed on four years probation, and ordered to pay a $500 fine. The couple split after his second arrest. For years, Panettiere kept the details close, not wanting to burden the people she loved emotionally or drag them into such an upsetting situation. She felt humiliated and embarrassed. But in her memoir, she’s chosen to confront that silence directly.

What’s striking about Panettiere’s journey isn’t her celebrity status—it’s her willingness to acknowledge that vulnerability and survival aren’t weaknesses. By writing this book, she’s signaling to anyone reading it that their story matters too. The goal of this book has always been to share my story in my own words, but also to remind others that they are not alone. We are always stronger together.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support.