From Abuser to Advocate: Brian Hickerson Opens Up About Hayden Panettiere's Memoir

When someone who committed abuse confronts their own story in print, something unexpected can happen. Brian Hickerson recently sat down to discuss Hayden Panettiere’s upcoming memoir,“This Is Me: A Reckoning,”and what emerged was a moment of genuine reckoning—not denial, not defensiveness, but acknowledgment paired with a provocative idea about how survivor stories might reshape the very people who harm others.

The relationship between Hickerson and Panettiere was volatile and public. Dating on and off from 2018 to 2022, their turbulent dynamic played out in courtrooms and headlines. Hickerson faced multiple arrests on domestic violence charges, pleaded no contest to felony charges, served jail time and probation, and was hit with a five-year restraining order requiring him to stay away from the actress. By any measure, it was a relationship marked by harm.

But here’s where it gets interesting. In his conversation with TMZ’s Charlie Neff, Hickerson didn’t shy away from the memoir’s darker passages. One incident in particular—a moment where he allegedly threatened to throw a phone at Panettiere, giving her“10 seconds to run as fast as you can”—made it into the book despite his request to keep it out. His response?“Who wants to read something about themselves like that?”Pause.“I did it. I did it.”That’s not minimization. That’s accountability, however late it arrives.

What Hickerson suggested next is worth taking seriously. He argued that abusers need to confront these stories more than anyone—that domestic violence education arrives far too late in life, if it arrives at all. He didn’t learn what abuse looked like growing up. And he’s suggesting that Panettiere’s memoir could serve as something closer to a warning manual for people on the path he traveled. Not redemption—he doesn’t claim that. But maybe prevention through recognition.

The paradox here is real. A man who inflicted harm is now pushing the idea that his own story of harm, told through his victim’s perspective, might educate other men before they become what he became. It’s uncomfortable. It should be. But it also points to something we rarely discuss: the role that unfiltered survivor testimony plays not just in healing, but in the radicalization of conscience. Sometimes it does take one to know one—and sometimes, that recognition is the first step toward making sure there won’t be another one.